Miscellaneous Funnies
Re: Miscellaneous Funnies
Did you see the bottom part? Haunt your own house.
You trying to tell me you didn't hear that shriek? That was something trying to get out of its premature grave, and I don't want to be here when it does. - Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
- Mrs. Danvers
- Posts: 547
- Joined: Wed Mar 01, 2017 9:52 am
- Location: The Grampian Hills
Re: Best Jokes
When I first read this I was laughing so hard I was crying.
It was especially funny to me and my husband, because we have a friend who used to make chili as hot as big tom's toenail curling chili. Your mouth would be on fire for days!!!!
It was especially funny to me and my husband, because we have a friend who used to make chili as hot as big tom's toenail curling chili. Your mouth would be on fire for days!!!!
We didn't need dialogue. We had faces!
Re: Best Jokes
You may have heard this one, but if you haven't...
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "I'm so embarrassed. Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and then they go to the theater. Afterwards, they talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his.
After paying for everything, she asks him to come to dinner the following day. When he arrives, she has cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The man is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible.
"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
[Ready? Here it comes…]
"No," she replies, "you just happened to catch my eye ..."
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "I'm so embarrassed. Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and then they go to the theater. Afterwards, they talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his.
After paying for everything, she asks him to come to dinner the following day. When he arrives, she has cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The man is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible.
"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
[Ready? Here it comes…]
"No," she replies, "you just happened to catch my eye ..."
Re: Best Jokes
Hahaha so corny, but I love it.
You trying to tell me you didn't hear that shriek? That was something trying to get out of its premature grave, and I don't want to be here when it does. - Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
- Mrs. Danvers
- Posts: 547
- Joined: Wed Mar 01, 2017 9:52 am
- Location: The Grampian Hills
Re: Best Jokes
Yeah I was waitin' for that, but still laughed anyway.
We didn't need dialogue. We had faces!
Re: Best Jokes
Danvers, I'm picturing the scene that judge #3 is making. This would be good as a comedy routine!
You trying to tell me you didn't hear that shriek? That was something trying to get out of its premature grave, and I don't want to be here when it does. - Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
- Mrs. Danvers
- Posts: 547
- Joined: Wed Mar 01, 2017 9:52 am
- Location: The Grampian Hills
Re: Best Jokes
I'm surprised we have only ever seen this in print. And usually the chili contest is happening in Texas.
We didn't need dialogue. We had faces!
Re: Miscellaneous Funnies
Thought this was amusing!
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You trying to tell me you didn't hear that shriek? That was something trying to get out of its premature grave, and I don't want to be here when it does. - Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
Re: Miscellaneous Funnies
Hohoho
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You trying to tell me you didn't hear that shriek? That was something trying to get out of its premature grave, and I don't want to be here when it does. - Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
Re: Miscellaneous Funnies
Aww
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You trying to tell me you didn't hear that shriek? That was something trying to get out of its premature grave, and I don't want to be here when it does. - Phantom of the Paradise (1974)