Important Detail
Mantua-maker to young lady: "How do you want your waist made?"---"In this new style, of course! I want it to look as if it was about to drop off of me, but of course it mustn't."
This one's a little weird. I had to look up the term 'Mantua-maker' and, apparently it was an early term for dressmaker.
Miscellaneous Funnies
Re: Miscellaneous Funnies
You trying to tell me you didn't hear that shriek? That was something trying to get out of its premature grave, and I don't want to be here when it does. - Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
Re: Miscellaneous Funnies
I always kind of wondered why authors sometimes would censor place names. Kind of weird?
Paid With Kisses
A man in D---- who deeply loves his wife, but awfully careless about money matters, started away on a long business trip leaving her short of money, and promised to send her a check, which he forgot to do. The rent came due and she telegraphed: “Dead broke. Landlord inconsistent. Wire me money.” Her husband answered: “Am short myself. Will send check in few days. A thousand kisses.”--- Exasperated she replied; “Never mind money. I gave landlord part of the kisses you wired me. He was more than satisfied.”
Paid With Kisses
A man in D---- who deeply loves his wife, but awfully careless about money matters, started away on a long business trip leaving her short of money, and promised to send her a check, which he forgot to do. The rent came due and she telegraphed: “Dead broke. Landlord inconsistent. Wire me money.” Her husband answered: “Am short myself. Will send check in few days. A thousand kisses.”--- Exasperated she replied; “Never mind money. I gave landlord part of the kisses you wired me. He was more than satisfied.”
You trying to tell me you didn't hear that shriek? That was something trying to get out of its premature grave, and I don't want to be here when it does. - Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
Re: Miscellaneous Funnies
Yes, the mantua one is a little strange. I guess you had to be there. 
(i.e., in that time)Re: Miscellaneous Funnies
I think it might have been more amusing if we had more of an idea of women's fashions in the tens. I'm pretty sure this is when dress waists were starting to get looser. I think the joke was supposed to be the fact that she felt she had to specify that she didn't really want it to fall off. Still weird.
Stay tuned for more head scratchers as I post one a day until the whole book is typed out.
You trying to tell me you didn't hear that shriek? That was something trying to get out of its premature grave, and I don't want to be here when it does. - Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
Re: Miscellaneous Funnies
Here's one of those said "head-scratchers". I'm not 100% sure if this is dirty, so if it is, let me know. I'll delete it.
Presto Change
A man by the name of Stone, while walking along the street some time ago, met a man by the name of Wood, and while exchanging a few pleasantries, a woman, dressed in a peculiarly noticeable, sheath gown, passed by. Instantaneously, Stone turned to Wood and Wood turned to Stone then both turned to rubber.
Presto Change
A man by the name of Stone, while walking along the street some time ago, met a man by the name of Wood, and while exchanging a few pleasantries, a woman, dressed in a peculiarly noticeable, sheath gown, passed by. Instantaneously, Stone turned to Wood and Wood turned to Stone then both turned to rubber.
You trying to tell me you didn't hear that shriek? That was something trying to get out of its premature grave, and I don't want to be here when it does. - Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
Re: Miscellaneous Funnies
I have an inkling maybe it is, but I'm not 100% sure, either. (Maybe 78-79%?)
Re: Miscellaneous Funnies
Well, since you're not sure, either, I'm leaving it.
You trying to tell me you didn't hear that shriek? That was something trying to get out of its premature grave, and I don't want to be here when it does. - Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
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BettyLouSpence
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Re: Miscellaneous Funnies
Could be, though I think that maybe the double entendré of them turning to each other might not have been intended to be that deep Then again, this was two decades or so after Russell Hunting (and a couple others) recorded several explicit jokes and stories onto wax cylinders, so, who knows...
Then again, this was two decades or so after Russell Hunting (and a couple others) recorded several explicit jokes and stories onto wax cylinders, so, who knows...I wish my life was a non-stop Hollywood movie show
a fantasy world of celluloid villains and heroes
Because celluloid heroes never feel any pain
and celluloid heroes never really die...
a fantasy world of celluloid villains and heroes
Because celluloid heroes never feel any pain
and celluloid heroes never really die...
Re: Miscellaneous Funnies
Tit-Bits (1884)
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You trying to tell me you didn't hear that shriek? That was something trying to get out of its premature grave, and I don't want to be here when it does. - Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
Re: Miscellaneous Funnies
Ready for a Circus
“Are you the trained nurse mamma said was coming?” asked Freddie.---- “Yes, dear, I’m a trained nurse.”---- “Well, then,” says Freddie, “Let’s see some of your tricks.”
“Are you the trained nurse mamma said was coming?” asked Freddie.---- “Yes, dear, I’m a trained nurse.”---- “Well, then,” says Freddie, “Let’s see some of your tricks.”
You trying to tell me you didn't hear that shriek? That was something trying to get out of its premature grave, and I don't want to be here when it does. - Phantom of the Paradise (1974)